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Anokhi's avatar

Fantastic, you’ve got a way with words. I think there is an overlap here with the wailing woman talk worth highlighting: I’ve never engaged in this behavior when there’s a strong masculine energy in my life. In fact, such an ‘environmental control’ will almost guarantee that my overeating episodes are contained. Anything else would feel disrespectful to him. Maybe this isn’t such an easy fix (though I’m taking applications for strong men!) but it speaks to the evolutionary mismatch of living so much of life alone as an independent woman. It also ties into why eating disorder treatments involve eating with people.

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Deborah B's avatar

Profoundly attuned and revelatory. Thank you so much for your courageous self-disclosure. I look forward to the next installments!

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Brenda H's avatar

Wow Jen! You indeed nailed it. You are a marvelous wordsmith and this ‘wailing woman’ topic is truly worthy of continued exploration, explanations and chatter. You have a way of getting to the point, posing questions, raising hypothesis and continually questioning your direction. This one’s for the ages, let’s keep exploring.

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amandamechele's avatar

I feel seen and heard. XO. Now to collapse dramatically back into my brook.

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kcastagnoli's avatar

Wow. That was a very personal and explosive essay. I love it and appreciate how open you are to share. I just wanna know who is giving you shit on social media. You're perfect and I'm gonna go kick their asses!!!! Who's with me???? Grab the pitchforks!!!!!

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MikeW's avatar

beautiful!

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Laura T's avatar

Shit Jen! You nailed it! TY

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ZZM's avatar

Yes to all this.

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Matthew Maes's avatar

As someone who has lost 140 pounds, I can resonate with your post. I am thankful for all the emotional work I did during my journey. You describe the vicious cycle. I think I have learned to bring awareness and compassion here, pause and ask myself, "Why am I doing this?" and then, importantly, fill the void of not doing it with something healthy. Transparently, I'm not 100% successful with this.

I also resonate with what you describe as worrying about regaining weight. At some point during my weight loss journey, a light was shed on my purpose, and I began to write about my journey and share it on social media with the people in my life. However, when I'm not on plan, and I have a weekend that results in a few pounds on the scale, this can sometimes leave me feeling some shame. I've learned to pivot and see this as a gift - an opportunity to do inner work and practice accepting the moment I am in.

Finally, I want to say I love this - "If you can’t control your environment at True North, the environment is not the issue. “Control your environment” is a band-aid. It’s just the answer we give because we don’t have a better one. We need a better one." Control is a sign of a lack of safety, and it is not something you can do forever!

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